Today I'm Feeling...

BLESSED!

Let's just say that I usually turn to this blog on my days of feeling so down that I just need to write to get things off my chest.  For some reason, writing it down for others to read seems to help a little. I guess there's times that I am just able to write some things that I wouldn't be able to just say. 

Well...today, I've decided to write for a very different reason.  Today has been a day that I've kept a smile on my face and felt so very blessed for my life right now.

I feel so blessed to have a job that I love!  I had such a fantastic group of kindergartners last year that were so excited for the wedding and also crushed when I lost Robert. They asked questions and helped me to cope through the last few weeks of the school year. I never dreamed that this year I would be that lucky.  At the beginning of the this year, I felt like all I could do was push this new group of students away. They knew nothing about what I'd been through or how somedays I was doing good just to get out of bed and go to work.  Well  ... MY how times have changed just since July. This group of kinders this year are just so precious!  They're soooo sweet and care so much for each other and myself. I've started to notice it more and more just being back from Christmas. Last week, I had to be out one day for a meeting. Before break I seemed to be out quite often for meetings (this is what I get for being involved in sooo many committees ....). This is a group of students that I tell when I am going to be gone .. and they're response was ...."You go to TOOO many meetings ... that is just CRAZY!" When I come back, I get so many hugs and children telling me they missed me.  It feels so good!

I also have a precious little girl that I just know God sent to me for a reason.  She is so interested in Robert and always seems to ask questions about him.  Last week, she sat down next to me during a work time and wanted to know about how Robert died.  We discussed the events and what a heart attack meant.  She asked if I cried, if his Mom cried, and if his Grandma cried. She also wanted to know about where he was buried. So I showed her this picture ... 

Peanut visiting his Dad

 Her response was "that is just SO sad!" She has the most sincere look on her face and then gave me a hug. After that, she went on to ask if I had a boyfriend. I told her no, so she says "Good, because he'd probably just die too." Oh, the innocence of a 5 year old. 

Today she came back to me and asked if my family, his friends, and my friends were all sad when it happened. I know that this is God working through a precious little child. Sending her to me to allow me to discuss my grief with her. I answer all of her questions because I feel like it's only fair to her. She cares so much and wants to know more.

It's so amazing to me how a group of 5 and 6 year olds can boost you up on a day when you're feeling so down. This year, I've decided to focus on the good things that I have going for me. I could spend hours, days, or even months focused on all the bad things that have happened, but I know that's not what Robert would want for me or what I would want for myself. 

Today I choose to feel blessed. Blessed for a job I love, a fantastic family, friends that would do anything for me, an amazing support system, precious little kindergartners that make every day worth it and, of course, Peanut.  

Happy Tuesday!