The Plague 2013

Okay, so maybe it's not the plague, but I've definitely been hit with the worst sickness I've had in many years. As I write, I'm currently home from work for the THIRD day in a row. Here's how it went. I left for work on Monday feeling just fine, and came home with a 101.4 fever, hurting chest when I cough, and an extremely sore throat. Thinking it was just the flu, I decided to just stay home and take it easy on Tuesday.  When I wasn't any better (actually felt  worse) on Wednesday, I decided it was time to pay a visit to the doctor. Strep throat it is, which is why my throat and tonsils were so very sore. My fever peaked back up yesterday morning which is why I am STILL home. I'm pretty sure my kinders are going to forget who I am ....

Following Dr's orders and pushing the liquids ..

My precious fur baby keeping me company while home

 Sitting at home has given me quite some thinking time. Time to think about how much I really miss Robert. I realized that January 23rd (the 9 month anniversary of his death) passed before my eyes, and I started to feel real guilty. I didn't even realize the day had passed. How can that be?  Is it bad that I seemed to "forget" or is it a good thing that life has kept me so busy?  I just feel so torn. I still think about him each and every day, and even still look at a picture of him every day.  I never want to forget that face and that precious smile.

Grief is such a difficult thing. There's times that I just seem to fight with myself because I don't know the "right" way to be feeling. Even though deep down I know that there is no "right" and "wrong" way because every one grieves in a different way at a different pace. It's just hard to feel so torn and not know the way to go, so I'll just carry on ...