2013 - What a Year

Can't believe we've reached the end of another year.  What a year it has been! 

Here's a review:

January - My Mom, sis, and I went wedding dress shopping!  It was so much fun helping her pick out the perfect dress! At the end of the month, I was struck with strep throat. This entitled me to 3 long and horrible days full of high fevers and swollen tonsils at home away from my kinders!  I hated to be away from them for the long! 

"This is the one!!!!"

Pushing lots of liquids ... per the Dr's orders

February - My Mom and oldest bro's birthdays as well as a baby shower for my SIL and Miss Brynzlee. It took place at my Mom's house and it was so much fun to buy PINK baby items!  Celebrated my first Mardi Gras in St. Louis!  It was a wonderful time .. minus a certain someone :)  Definitely fun to spend time with my sis, BIL, and BFF Denise!

 

March - Enjoyed my last 3 week break from school. Definitely loved the balanced calendar and having 3 week breaks in the fall and spring.  I also, for the first time, made AND iced my own batch of sugar cookies.  That's something to be proud of!

April - My sister's birthday and 4 days later Brynzlee Grace entered the world.  Holding my niece for the first time in the hospital was simply precious. I learned just how loyal (and sometimes crazy) my sister can be as well as the importance of moving on when someone just isn't worth it! This month also brought the dreaded one year anniversary of losing my very best friend. It was an emotional couple of days as I relived the week of his death.  I spent that evening at dinner with my Mom, Robert's Mom, both of Robert's brothers and their girlfriend/fiancé. It was the only way to spend the evening ... with the family that knew exactly what I was going through.

May - We had an impromptu IC girls weekend at my BFFAE's new house!  This is a group of girls that all met in college and we've continued a yearly tradition of spending the first weekend in December together.  A new house prompted us to have a mid year meeting and it was WONDERFUL!  Memorial Day weekend brough Brynzlee's first time to Grandma Kathy's house as well as meeting Uncle Ryan, Aunt Donna, and Robert's precious family.  I just love when the entire RoCo gang gather's together.

June - Winding down of the school year!  Spending my last few days with one of my favorite classes.  It really was a great school year with very caring kinders. I also put up a pool discovered it had holes ... took down that pool, and put up a new pool! That's determination .. but I definitely needed a pool for soak up some sun in.  Little Miss Rinley McCoy made her appearance this month and I was so excited to make my way over to meet her.  This trip landed me with some special time with my MIL, meeting Miss Rinley, spending some "oh so fun" time with Jamie, Katie, Addison, Peyton, and Sawyer, and attending Miss Peyton's Tball game!  Such a fun day!

July - I felt like getting my classroom ready, but due to a change in schedule .. this is the first year that didn't start in July.  I sort of felt lost for a while. Brynzlee made her first trip to my Grandma's house and I celebrated another July 11 (Robo's birthday) without him.  Robo's brothers planned another yearly "birthday" party for him. It was such a fun time to visit with some wonderful people that Robo brought into my life. It breaks my heart he's not there to celebrate with us.  He sure would have enjoyed Tyler's singing/dancing. During this month, I also "kidnapped" Peyton and Sawyer for a night (to give Mom and Dad a night off) and had a blast with them!  We swam and played and had a wonderful time.  I hope to do it again soon.

August - the beginning of a new school year.  I actually had open house on my birthday this year ... nothing like spending about 11 hours of your birthday at work.  It's a good thing I love my job! My SIL and I's birthdays are just days apart, so we always celebrate together.  We had a great day full of more RoCo family time.  I can't say enough how much I love that precious time! I also attended my new SIL's bridal shower!

September - Planned and had my sister's bridal shower that turned out great! Also, went to Chelsea's bachelorette party preparing for her and Doug's wedding. This was the beginning of a crazy busy fall for me.  September 29 brought on more emotions as it would've been Robo and I's 1 year anniversary of being husband and wife.  I just wish for one day I could've called him my husband ...

October - CRAZY!!  Every weekend was booked!  First up, I had the honor to stand up in Doug and Chelsea's wedding. It made me proud to see Robo's (and my) little brother getting married.  Addison sure made the wedding interesting, and it was just beautiful.  What a great time celebrating! Next up, heading to Indy with my Mom and two nephews to babysit my niece for a night.  My brother was in a wedding and him and my SIL deserved an adult night away. I sure did enjoy spending time with all the kiddos together! Next, the annual Roe Family Winery Trip which also was paired with my Sis and now BIL's bachelor/bachelorette parties. It was a fun time with family/friends, but it always makes me miss Robo .. and then I get sad.  The last weekend of the month was a baby shower to honor Melissa and little Mr. Kaz Robert Connor.  Such a fun time celebrating a new baby in the family!

November - another crazy month!  We had a wedding prep weekend to help my sis with the finishing touches of the weekend. Mr. Kaz made his appearance on the 18th.  And before I knew it ... TobeJonesyday was here!  My sis married her prince charming and best friend and I'm happy to say I have a new BIL.  The wedding was gorgeous and so much fun even if it was freezing outside!!! Right after the wedding came Thanksgiving.  I was able to meet my nephew, Kaz, for the first time and celebrate Thanksgiving with family. The Saturday after Thanksgiving, my MIL was taken into the hospital and found out she had a hole in her colon and was full of infection.  I spent most of the day at the hospital with my BIL's and Aunt in law, while my MIL was in surgery to install a drain to get rid of some of the infection.

December - Annual IC Girls weekend!  I look forward to this weekend every year.  This was the first time it was held in Jacksonville (usually held here). We had a blast spending time together and enjoying each other's company.  One of my very special friends lost both of her parents within a week of each other this fall, so it was great to spend some time with her.  My heart breaks for her.  The next weekend I was headed to Indy again (through a snowstorm) to surprise see my brother for a 30th birthday party. You can't surprise a person who knows everything ... right Kristin? The next weekend brought my family celebrating Christmas together.  We had a fun game night and enjoyed lots of laughs and time together.  Next was Christmas.  Mom, Grandma, and I headed to STL to spend it with Amy and T.  It was a relaxing time well spend.  Some shopping, card playing, and eating great food. Within this weekend craziness, I was also heading to Champaign to spend time with my MIL. She's still in the hospital.  She's had her colon repaired and is on the mend.

This holiday season has brought many emotions to me this year.  I feel like I'm having a harder time than I was last year.  Its the little things that are said or done that seem to get to me the most. I know it's all part of the grieving process. Robert is still very much alive within me. I could feel him at my sister's wedding the moment she was walking down the aisle with my brothers.  I just miss him greatly, but know that he is forever in my heart.

I hope 2014 brings health and happiness to all my friends and family especially my precious MIL. She deserves a wonderful and HEALTHY year!  I look forward to a new year to focus on my happiness and moving forward in this game called Life. 

Happy New Year to All!

Mid December Already?!

It's definitely been quite a busy start to December. 

My mother in law in still in the hospital. She's had many ups and downs over the past two weeks with 3 difference procedures to put in a drain, vacuum out some infection, and fix the drain that was leaking. She was moved from a regular room to ICU and I got word that she was very swollen and that her kidneys were slowing down. I knew I needed to get over there and see her. My Mom and I went once last week and once this week. On Tuesday, she seemed so much better. She was awake, alert, and talking. She made sure to tell me to give Peanut a hug for her. 

I headed over to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning today to see her before they took her for surgery to repair the hole in her colon. The doctor made sure to stress that this was a pretty risky surgery. All of her siblings made it over to see her before they took her this morning. We even had the Dr. come in the room before the surgery to pray with all of us.  It was such a neat moment. When they took her this morning, she had tears in her eyes telling us all goodbye. Broke. My. Heart.  

Before heading into surgery

We kept getting updates throughout the surgery and finally the doctor came in to tell us the surgery went as expected. He was able to take out about 6 inches of her colon. He said she wasn't out of the woods yet because there's still a long road of recovery ahead of her. He did get the problem fixed though. He even thanked us for praying with him before hand and said that he said another prayer before starting.  God is in control! 

Love spending time with this little man .. even if it's in a hospital.  Can't help but think how proud Robert is of this boy!

Seeing Laury awake after surgery was wonderful.  She was in pain and looked a little swollen but just seeing her there gave me much relief.  She said "well, I woke up after the surgery and that's a good thing".  Thanks for all of the prayers! 

On top of getting daily updates from my BIL about Laury, I've been busy with my kinders and their magical elf "North" who came to visit our classroom. (Only my students would name their Elf after Kim and Kanye's baby ... although they picked the name since he's from the North Pole)  The magic of Christmas in the eyes of a child is amazing!  I love nothing more than to see their eyes light up when talking about Santa.  We've been learning Christmas carols and the students are really enjoying it.  

I started wrapping their gifts tonight.  I love giving them a little gift to open at school. For some of my students, it may be one of the few gifts they receive and I want them to experience opening a present! 

Half way down wrapping for the kinders

Last weekend was the annual Pixley 3rd girls reunion!  Every year, 4 other wonderful friends and myself get together the first weekend of December.  It's always a weekend of laughter and catching up with each other.  We did some shopping, wine (and beer) drinking, game playing, crying, and of course, lots of laughing. I love these girls so much and we've truly experienced many of life's ups and downs together. We've decided we need to make this a bi-annual thing ... so hopefully we'll meet again in June. 

Annual picture by the tree.  Love these ladies!

On an unrelated note, I heard two songs today that seemed to hit my heart pretty good. 

First one, Luke Bryan - Drink a Beer
"Funny how the good ones go too soon, but the good Lord knows the reasons why, I guess
Sometimes the greater plan is kinda hard to understand. Right now it don't make sense. I can't make it all make sense." 
 This explains my outlook on Robo so well.  I just can't seem to understand why he was taken so early in the prime of his life. We were supposed to get married, have babies, and live happily ever after ... but all of that stopped on April 23, 2012.  All I know is God has a plan ..... even if I don't understand it. 

Next song, Lowcash Cowboys - Best Seat in the House
"From the front steps of the pearly gates, I swear sometimes I can hear you say"Come on angels gather round." That's my boy girl now ain't you proud. And I point up into the sky it don't matter day or night I know somewhere just above the clouds my old man is watching me right now form the best seat in the house. Yeah I know you're looking down from the best seat in the house."
This song makes me miss my Dad so much, but it's true that I know he's watching me from the best seat in the house. I can't help but miss him and think of all the things he's missed out on here ... even though I know he's experiencing it all in Heaven. 

I'm so lucky to have two of the most special men in my life watching out for me, but it's still difficult knowing they were both taken way too soon. 

5 more days with my kinders until Christmas Break!  Here's to a crazy, fun, and tiring week!  

Thanksgiving Weekend

Thanksgiving seemed to creep up on me this year which is probably due to Amy's wedding.

It also fell on what would've been my Dad's 61st birthday.  Wow, wish he were here to celebrate with us.  

We were able to honor Dad in a wonderful way by just gathering the family together to celebrate Thanksgiving.  It's always so nice to have a house full of people even if Peanut doesn't sleep well. My Grandma, bro, SIL, niece, sister, and new BIL all came in on Wednesday at various times.  Getting to spend some time with precious Brynzlee is always wonderful! 

I was also thrilled that my BIL (Robert's Brother) and his girlfriend came over to introduce us to their precious bundle of joy!  Kaz Robert was born on November 18. As soon as they got in the door, Jake took Kaz out of his seat and put him in my arms.  What a wonderful moment!  I almost had tears in my eyes thinking how proud Robert would've been to meet his first nephew that is named after him.  He is so tiny but just perfect! 

Sweet Baby Kaz

Dinner was wonderful as usual. We gathered around 2 separate tables and laughed while we ate. My oldest bro, SIL, two nephews, her friend, and Mom headed out to have their second Thanksgiving dinner of the day. Amy and T had to head out also so T could do it "man in brown" work on Friday ... Boo! 

Stolen from my Sis :)

 
Friday began with Kristin and I shopping!!  We ventured to Kohl's first and decide there were WAYY too many people and the line was too long to even stay.  We then went to Hobby Lobby and picked out ornaments for my tree!!  We came home and decorated my tree.  Nathan had the bright idea of replacing Mom's faucet in the kitchen sink.  Little did he know that would take about 5 hours ... While he was working under the sink, K and I were putting Mom's Christmas Village up above the cabinets.  The kitchen was a little crazy! Don't worry, the Grandma's had control of Bryn :) 

Here's the tree Robert and I bought together the day after Christmas in 2011.  It has never been out of the box and fully put together. Last year, I was in no mood to celebrate Christmas nor decorate, so thankfully this year my spirits are up.  I may have sat and cried while putting the tree together ... but at least its up and it looks great! (Thanks Kristin!)

The ornament Robert got from buying Jack ... He was so proud of it!

Had to take full advantage of having a precious baby

Friday evening, I helped Mom finish the decor by putting up the nativity set and the rest of her village.  I just love when all the decorations are up and the lights are on.  So wonderful! 
Here's the villiage:

Here's how Peanut spent Friday night:

Having everyone here must be tough on him....

Saturday - the plan was the go to Springfield to take my Grandma to meet my Aunt to go home.  I received a call from Robert's Aunt that Robert's Mom was taken to the hospital in Danville early Saturday morning and was being transferred to Champaign to most likely have surgery.  Plans quickly changed and I finished getting ready to head to Champaign.  I was able to spend a little time with Laury before she was taken back to have surgery to drain the infection that was taking over her body. They found a hole in her colon that has been leaking infection for quite some time.  Aunt Debbie, Doug, Chelsea, Jake, Melissa, Kaz and I sat in the waiting room for about 3 hours waiting to find out how everything went.  She got through it fine and was feeling a little better but still groggy that evening.  As sad as it was to be at the hospital for that reason, it was nice to have some time to visit with family.  That family is so special to me!!  

Sunday - Mom and I headed over to Champaign to do a little shopping and visit Laury. She looked much better today and was talking more clear.  She is being pumped full of antibiotics so she was pretty tired. She would nap off and on. 

It's sure been a busy weekend, and I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow ... BUT ...15 more work days until a 2 week break!  I think I can .... I think I can .... 

TobeJonesy Day

What a crazy week it's been .. that I'm just now getting to posting about my sister's wedding last weekend. 

The wedding was just PERFECT! 

Amy put lots of thought, effort, and time into every last detail and it all turned out gorgeous! 

We all heading down to STL on Friday morning to help decorate.  Little did we know that Amy had most of the decorating done .. and just needed help with a few things .. including this ..

It took a little extra hands, but it got done! 

We had a dinner that night that went very well. It was nice getting to visit with family that we don't get to see too much. 

Then the wedding day came!!  Mom and I met Amy at the church early to head to our hair appointments.  It was so neat to spend the morning with just the 3 of us. It's time that we don't have all that often, but it's always soo much fun to be together.  Luckily, we were running a little early to every place we needed to be that morning. It meant relaxing  ... and not having to rush. 

The day seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, we were in the room of the church getting ready ... and trying to stay calm with Crazy Mary (the church lady) ...

Crazy Mary Faces :)

About 20 minutes before the wedding, my 2 brothers, Amy, and I were the only ones back in the room together.  That time was perfect.  I couldn't tell you the last time the four of us were alone together laughing and joking around.  Such a wonderful way to calm before the start of the ceremony. 

The ceremony went great.  The moment I turned around after walking down the isle and I saw my 2 brothers walking Amy down ... seemed soo surreal and I could feel Robert's presence so strong. I know he was there at that moment beaming! 

 After the ceremony when pictures had begun, Msr. Ted came up to me and said, "Your sister told me what happened to you. I just want you to know that I'm praying for your, and praying that someone very special walks into your life."  I thought that was SOOOO sweet! 

Grandma and her kids

After pictures at the church, my sister, newest brother, best man and I headed to the car to head to pictures.... outside ... when it was freezing!  Luckily, I didn't have to be in tooo many outside .. but it was worth it.  While Amy and T had their pictures taken ... the best man and I stayed in the car and drank.  Seemed perfect to me! 
Here's a teaser...
 

Courtesy of Metropolitan Picture Company

While heading to the reception we had to stop at QT to refill the cooler and ... 

to bustle the dress!  haha!!! 

The reception was BEAUTIFUL! All the decorations were perfect.  I was SOO nervous for my speech.... but I ROCKED it! For those of you wondering, here's what I said:

"Good Evening! For those of you who don’t know me, I am Erin, Amy’s younger sister. Amy and I have grown to love each other more and more through the years. We’ve gone from arguing, fighting, and throwing things at each other to a point now where we are calling or texting each other almost every day.  I couldn’t have asked for a better sister to support me through life’s ups and downs and she’s also quick to attack anyone who tries to mess with me! 

I’ll never forget Amy first telling me nonchalantly that she “went on a date last night”.  I was so eager for details but all she could say was he was short, bald, and wore gym shorts.  I mean what kind of a guy wears gym shorts on a date?! For quite some time, I would get a call after each date explaining all the details just like sisters should. Little did she know, when she called I would have the speakerphone on, so Robert, my fiancé, could hear all about the dates as well.  It was one particular night when she was going on and on about how short he was and was quick to point out he “had a very nice car” that Robert piped up and said “Amy, you are SO materialistic!” Robert continued to coach Amy to give Tyler a chance. He would always say “the poor guy can’t help that he’s short!” Let me just point out that clearly Tyler is no shorter than Amy … she just had to give up her love for heels!

The first time Tyler came to meet the family was intense.  Not only did he meet our entire (overbearing) family, but also everyone and their mother …literally! What a lucky guy.  It was that weekend that I informed Tyler of Amy’s love for Skittles.  Little did he know, this would be the hook to get her.

I knew Tyler was the man Amy would marry after their first fight (that I knew of).  Tyler came to win Amy over with flowers in hand … and skittles in his pocket!  This is just the man Amy needed!

So Tyler, tonight I’m giving you a bag of tricks to use as needed…

Fun Size – for those everyday tiffs or when she just needs a little snack

Regular Size – For when she’s had a long day at work. Just give her this and walk away. Plan to stay away until the bag is empty!

Big Bag – For those very few times you REALLY mess up .. and just don’t know which way to turn …

On a more serious note, I wish you two a life filled with love and happiness. Together, you have just what it takes to create a long and lasting marriage. I’m very happy to welcome Tyler to the crazy Roe family! I can’t wait to see where this journey takes you as a couple! 

Amy, I have to say that I know both Dad and Robert are looking down with huge smiles on their faces and high fiving each other because they are very proud of the woman you’ve become and that you actually gave that short, bald guy a chance!

Well Amy, you made it! 

Let’s all lift our glasses and toast to my sister and newest brother .. Mr. and Mrs. Jones!"

Here's a few snapshots of Amy's face during the speech:

And here's a Mullink shot.  Grandma with all of her kids ... and the grandkids and great grandkids that were able to make it to the wedding!

This was the perfect wedding for a wonderful couple!  Congratulations Amy and T!  

Grief

One simple word that is so very hard to explain. 

The grieving process is so unique to each person and it still catches me by surprise.  There's moments that I feel like I'm doing so well ........ and then there's the moments that bring me two steps back. 

Robert has been heavy on my heart and mind this week.  I've found myself talking to him every night before I went to sleep and every morning while getting ready for work.  There was even a day this week that I was crying on the way to work.... and that hasn't happened in quite some time. 

I know part of it relates  to my sister's wedding that is quickly approaching. To be completely honest, that is going to be a very, very hard day for me.  Robert had a HUGE hand in starting this relationship (or convincing Amy to start this relationship), and I know that he is SO proud to see this day approach and to see these two very special people unite in marriage.This will be my third wedding that I've been in since losing Robert, and let me just tell you how hard it is to stand up there and watch someone's dream come true knowing that I wasn't able to have that chance with the man I loved. Now, I really couldn't be any happier for my sister.  I love her to death and am thrilled that she found her prince that is absolutely perfect for her.  She deserves Tyler and everything he is to her, and I am so VERY proud to stand up as her maid of honor!

Another reason Robert has been on my mind is the Holiday Season that is also quickly approaching.  This is a time to gather with family and friends to celebrate together.  I know that I am in much better spirits than I was at this time last year; however, there's still such a huge void without him. 

I'm so thankful to have found the Blog world which has linked me to others that have been in similar situations. It makes me feel normal to "see" their grief expressed and to know that there's others going through the same steps as myself. 

I'm also so thankful for the innocence of my kinders.  They really are wonderful and keep me moving forward.  One happened to notice my ring (even though I've worn it every day) and asked about it.  When I said it was from my fiance who passed away, this child said "well, that's sad" and continued to work on what he was doing. 

Also, I could go on and on about how thankful I am for family.  I say it over and over again, but it's such a blessing that the Roe's and Connor's have really become the RoCo's.  One BIG, HAPPY, and LOVING family!  It's such a wonderful  thing. 

And as I read this, I know this is exactly what Robo would tell me ... (maybe add in some sarcasm and smartass comments...)

I'd just like to say thanks to all those that continue to support me! 

I love you all! 



I promise the next post will be a little more upbeat with #tobejonesy day soooooooo close! 

Chirp Chirp

It's been awfully quiet on this blog lately due to me finally having some down time!  These past two weeks have still been pretty busy, but it's been such a great feeling to not have to pack a bag and leave town right after work on Friday! Sometimes ... there's no place like home! 

Here's a recap of what I've been up to.

Last Friday, I had a day off work and stayed in my pj's until 10!  Awesome!  Then, Chrissy and I had a much needed lunch and shopping date.  Even though we work at the same school, I feel like I NEVER see her!  This gave us time to catch up with life. 

Saturday was "Baby Shower" day for Melissa (and Jake).  It's so hard to believe that Kaz's arrival is approaching so quickly! Spending the day celebrating Kaz was wonderful. Here's a few pics from the shower. 

Addy and I with our "staches" 

My Mom and I spent most of the day in Tilton with Laury.  We made a visit to see Grandma Smiley in the nursing home. She's soooo sweet, and I enjoy every minute I get to see her. As always, time spent with Laury was precious.  I treasure our moments together! 

This past week was CRAZY at school!  Kinders are VERY excited about Halloween ... especially when it doubles with "Red Ribbon Week" and we have crazy dress up days each day.  How fun was it to wear costumes to school on Thursday.  The Kinder team dressed up as Minions and the kiddos LOVED it!

Most of our awesome staff dressed up

This is a true story:

 

This weekend was quiet and spent at home.  Much, much needed!  I did enjoy some time with the nephews as well. Quality time watching Hocus Pocus and making the infamous "cookie monster".

Only 3 more weeks until Tobejonesy day! 

Next weekend, Mom and I are headed to STL to help with finishing touches for the wedding!  Very exciting times to come!  

Happy November!