The Dance

As I've stated previously, Robo and I had many conversations about death during our relationship.  I can't help but think that was God preparing me for what was to come.  

For example, 13 days before Robo passed, we were sitting in a local Chinese restaurant having one of our "romantic" dinners (ha!).  I was telling him about the book that I was currently reading. The book is called The Next Best Thing by Kristan Higgans.  This book is about a young widow (in her 20's) whose husband just recently passed away who feels like there is a curse in her family.  Her Mom and her mom's two sisters are called the black widows because all of their husbands passed away as well (all at or around 50). Her sister calls her husband rather frequently because she is afraid he will fall to the curse as well. There's a whole story line behind it, and I won't ruin it for anyone who chooses to read the book. 

BUT I was telling Robo about this over dinner. Explaining that I found it to be so weird because my Dad passed away in his 50's and one of my mom's sister's husband recently passed away as well.  Robert's exact words were "That is going to be us.  I am going to die young, and (my sister) is going to be the one calling (her boyfriend) all the time to make sure he's still breathing" ... takes my breath away to know we had this conversation soooo close to him passing ... Maybe that was another sign from God that this was going to be happening ... 

Driving to work this morning, I heard the song that was played at his funeral.  Garth Brooks "The Dance".  He had told me more than once that he wanted this played at his funeral. 

Looking back on the memory of
the dance we shared 'neath the stars above;
For a moment all the world was right.
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?

And now, I'm glad I didn't know
the way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance;
I could have missed the pain,
but I'd have had to miss the dance.

Holding you I held everything.
For a moment wasn't I the king
If I'd only known how the king would fall,
Hey, who's to say - you know I might have changed it all.

And now, I'm glad I didn't know
the way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance;
I could have missed the pain,
but I'd have had to miss the dance.

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

This fit his life and his personality so well.  I've had this song in my head ALL day today just thinking about Robo over and over.  I am so very thankful for the "dance" we were able to share.  He gave me the best 2 years of my life and I'm so very thankful God placed our two lives together.  What an extra special gift sent straight from God, I just know it.  

I only wish we would've had more time to "dance" because 2 years just wasn't long enough with my Robo.  

 Robert, I will continue to love you with all my heart and miss you each and every day until we meet again ...