It started with wonderful family and friends assisting with the moving process last weekend. We were able to get most everything out of the house on Saturday in just a few hours. Bringing ALL of that stuff to my Mom's was the challenge. How did Robo and I ever acquire so much stuff in one year?!
Monday evening I had to meet a friend out at my house because he as coming to get the couch and chair from the living room. I thought that would be my last time out at the house, so I made sure to walk through and take in my last breaths in that house. Needless to say, that brought quite a bit of emotions .......
Tuesday I ended up going BACK out there to get a couch that was still there. My sister-in-law helped me load it up and she ended up taking it (thank goodness!) to someone that she knew would want it.... That ended up being my last time out at the house. Oh the memories that Robo and I made in almost one short year... That evening it all hit me that I would no longer be able to walk through the house anymore to relive the memories. I do have pictures of it just as we had it, but I have a very tough time accepting this was it.
Then Wednesday came! The day of closing..... My Mom picked me up from work, so we could make in there on time. I was almost through signing the papers when the Lady who worked at the title company said, "I see you have a beautiful, shiny ring on, so you are married?" I was blinking back tears telling her I actually am not married because my fiance passed away back in April. As if I wasn't having a hard enough time making it through closing, this had to be brought up. I think I made the lady feel horrible, but I had to share his story. I vow to let him live on through me!
After a big day Wednesday, Thursday marked 4 months since losing my best friend and love of my life. What a hard realization to know I've made it through another month, and the days seem to be getting harder ....not easier.... what I'd give to go back to the time when we were together and just pour my heart out to him. I am confident knowing that he loved me with everything he had and I loved him with everything I have, but I would love to be able to voice that to him over and over ... Just to see him again ...
Then comes Friday ... it used to be one of my favorite days of the week because that meant as soon as I got off work, Robo and I had the WHOLE weekend to spend together. Whether we were spending it with my family, his family, or all alone, I always looked forward to those long days with him. We always woke up happier on Friday knowing we'd have some more time together .... It was only today that I realized I miss him the most on Fridays ....... Now, I get off of work, come home .. and wonder what's next. No more lazy evenings on the couch watching a movie with him or talking him into going out to dinner, to the mall, and target. I just miss him so much my heart hurts. I'd give anything to be able to be back in his arms again ... his hugs were soo comforting.
And tomorrow ... I'm heading over to his hometown to spend some time with his(and MY) family. I will be going to see his headstone for the first time and just spending some quality time over there. I am SOOOOOO thankful for the wonderful relationship I have with his family. I know they'll always be MY family, and that is a wonderful feeling .....
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