I've been putting this blog on the back burner for the past couple of months. I always have wonderful blogging ideas pop into my head, but I can never seem to find the time to document. I guess I've made progress in thinking that I don't always turn to this is my very low points as I did when I started this blog.
Weeks are crazy, weekends are even crazier and it seems I don't have much time to sit down and just write ... but get ready for true honesty....
This week has been so full of emotions for me. I've cried more tears this week than I have in quite some time. Why, you ask? I wish I had the answer.
Saturday, I went to the hospital to visit Laury after not seeing her for two weeks. I walked into the room to her sitting in a recliner with the tv on and a smile on her face. This one small moment meant so very much to me. This is a woman that I love so dearly. She means the world to me and I value everything about her and everything she is to me. She has been in the hospital for 3 and 1/2 months and I do believe Saturday was the most positive and upbeat that she has been since she went in there. I also was able to watch her stand up from the chair (using a walker) and make it to the bed with very little help. Last time I saw her stand up was a couple months ago and she had one person on each side to help her and she was SOO nervous. The strength she's grown since then is just wonderful! I can't wait until the day I can say she is leaving the hospital. This has been a very long, long couple of months for her, but I know she will bounce back stronger than ever. She is loved by many, many people and has 2 of the greatest Angels on her side!
I also visited some of Robert's (and my) friends this weekend. I have not seen them since October and I missed them and their girls so much. We were able to catch up and they showed me their new house. I value the time I spend with them as well. I met them through Robert, but they continue to be wonderful friends and supporters to me. As soon as I pulled off of their street to head home, the tears just started flowing. And the was the beginning of these emotions .... Being around them makes me miss Robert. I miss his presence, I miss having a driving buddy, and I just miss him. Simple as that.
This week has been very trying for me. I've been cussed out by a student (not one of mine) and felt disrespected by others. I've been working long days to get caught up and just feel like I'm wearing so thin.....
When days like this start to get to me, I just have to remember my purpose. I have 23 sweet kinders that greet me each day. They test my patience at times but they are also there to hug me when I'm sad and worry when I'm gone. Just this week, one student begged his mom to come to school because he "missed Ms. Roe and wants to learn". That, my friends, is what keeps me going.
I also stayed at school until 6:30 tonight in hopes of getting some work done. Did I get a lot accomplished? No! But I did get to talk to some amazing coworkers who listened and shared their frustrations as well. Thank goodness we have each other for support ... because some days I feel like that's all we have.
These little things seem to get me down until I stop and think. I woke up this morning and my heart is still beating. That, I must be thankful for because unfortunately, there are some people that have their life swept away from them way too soon. I must find it in me to be thankful for the life I've been given and carry on with my head held high and finding the joy in each day.
Thank you, Robert, for helping and guiding me each day!
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